Haircut Surprise and the Heebeegeebees

My 12 year old son, Andy, wanted me to take him for a haircut today. Since I wasn't feeling up to butchering yet another son's haircut I agreed to take him. I took him to a salon on the island that is run primarily by non-english speaking women. Whatever. We aren't going for a Justin Beiber cut or anything.

So Andy tells her he wants a regular buzz cut with it a little longer on the top. She grabs her clippers and starts plowing through his VERY thick locks. After about half a dozen passes she suddenly stops and yells "Ma'am! Ma'am! Look!!" pointing at my son's head. What in the hell could it be??
Yep. You guessed it ....Lice.

Immediately the lady, in complete disbelief, starts backing up. She drops the clippers while having this completely shocked look on her face. Kind of like they do in the movies when someone sees a dead person. I was motionless. Then I asked her "Well? What do we do??" "I don't know," she says. "What do you mean "You don't know"? Shave his head!" "No no no!" she exclaims. So I thank her and haul ass out of the salon!
I look at my poor child with his head half shaved and begin laughing uncontrollably! Here he is completely stunned with this jacked up head and completely infested with lice and all I can do is laugh. I grabbed a hat from the back seat and ordered him to put it on so he could hold on to a little bit of dignity. Plus, I didn't want those bastards jumping off on me in the car on the way home. As I drive home I remember snuggling with him in my bed last night. ew. His friends that had spent the night lately. Great. The last brush he used. His sister's.
We arrived home and I sat him in the middle of the back yard on a stool. Grabbed my extention cord and clippers and started shaving.
O...M...G... How in the world could this child NOT have known that there was a colony of bugs living in his hair? Once I started shaving it looked like I had kicked over a mound of ants! Really! It did! Once I finished, I made my husband get the leaf blower and blow the piles of infested hair into the neighbor's yard ;)

I have spent the rest of my day sanitizing the house and washing washing washing and washing more loads of laundry. Bagging pillows, trashing brushes, and $100 later at Walmart on new pillows and hair brushes, I am alomost done.



This is exactly how I wanted to spend my New Years Eve. Now where's my drink...